My Dear Sleeblurk
by Yoshimaster
Summary: A short collection of letters based on The Screwtape Letters. Screwtape once again lends his advice to a junior devil, this time to his great-nephew, Sleeblurk.
1. Letter One

My Dear Sleeblurk,

I have noted for some time your indolence concerning long-term degradation of your patient. As any learned devil knows, this kind of devilish working is most crucial in ensuring places in Our Father's House.

Your patient is at the ideal age for certain kind of temptations to be put into play that would work into the destruction of his morality. His parents, both lost to the Enemy (and whose designated devils have paid dearly), effectively shut him off from the society on Earth for much of his childhood. This, in turn, allowed your patient no shield from the splendid influence of the long-damned populace of his peers, and the mediums that influenced them. I'm speaking, of course, of the prime source of temptation known as public high school.

Therefore, Sleeblurk, you must act quickly and with a sure fist. Your patient has a great deal of this "charisma" that attracts humans like flies to a corpse, and will surely be tempted by his peers. His first thought will be to remember what his parents have taught him; it will be up to you to remind him that his primary goal at school is to make certain the approval of his peers and the maintenance of his reputation that he has worked so hard on over the entirety of his school years.

However, you must remember to distract him from any pangs of conscience before temptation comes; for, if he learns of what may tempt him beforehand, he will be sure not to give in and will hold this idea firm in his mind until those possible temptations are past. On-the-spot decisions favor us more often than premeditated decisions.

I look forward to seeing how you go about this process. Remember that damnation begins in the youth,

Your Affectionate Great-Uncle,

Screwtape


	2. Letter Two

My Dear Sleeblurk,

I was very much pleased when I learned that you have already taken the first step in the procedure that I have previously described to you. The news that your patient was invited to an unsupervised party is excellent news indeed.

I spoke with the devil in charge of tempting the youth who invited your patient to the party, Garnumb, and he informed me of the type of temptations his patient is liable to include in the party. It is nothing unusual for a party attended almost entirely by damned youths. There will be instruments, restricted even by your patient's well-molded government, that are damaging to both the patient's body and his morality. There will be "games," which, unlike the mildly corrupting games that your patient often plays in his spare time, consist entirely of immoral pleasure. And, of course, there will be plenty of that wonderful elixir known as alcohol.

I trust your patient knows not of these temptations? As I said in a previous letter, knowledge of possible temptation beforehand is fatal. He must think that this party is an innocent get-together; and considering how sheltered his childhood was, it shouldn't be too difficult to get him to think this. I told Garnumb to remind his patient that, if your patient knows what kind of party he's going to, he probably won't come. Garnumb's patient won't have that.

As always, emotion is key, and so you must keep his excitement of getting invited by a popular peer in his head to cloud out any doubts he may have of his peer's morality. I await your successful results,

Your Affectionate Great-Uncle,

Screwtape


	3. Letter Three

My Dear Sleeblurk,

After reading your last letter (twice, to make certain that I had not read it incorrectly), I concluded that you are mad.

You say that after much inquiring in the Research Department, you made a "delightful discovery," that the damaging instruments I mentioned in my last letter were highly addictive and, thusly, deeply corrupting (which makes me wonder: just what is old Slubglob teaching at the Training College?) You then go on to say that, if you manage to get your patient addicted to one or more of these damaging instruments, he will go into an inescapable downward spiral leading straight into Our Father's House.

First, let me say that, yes, your "delightful discovery" is correct; those damaging instruments are, indeed, highly addictive. However, your certainty of the success of your thesis is foolishness. In reality, it is a hit-or-miss strategy. I cannot tell you how many patients we've lost to the Enemy by using this method.

The patient, after getting addicted to these instruments, will go into a downward spiral, from which he cannot recover on his own. However, the Enemy, sly as he is, will not allow that. He will send one of his agents to witness to the patient. In his weakened state, the patient will see the misleading garbage fed to him by the Enemy's agent as wonderful news and his escape rope from his hole. He will undoubtedly convert and become one of the most assured agents of the Enemy. What's worse, he may even testify to other humans, turning them all from the path to Our Father's House forever! As your great-uncle and senior, I strongly advise you not to risk it.

A more sure strategy is to gradually corrupt the patient. Allow him to go to the party, allow him to give in to the many delightful temptations he will find there, and allow him to partake of the damaging instruments in moderation. If he is helplessly addicted so soon, it will not allow time for other forms of corruption, leading him down a path that could be fatal for us. He must be well rounded. After a decade or so of such corruption, he will be too used to it (and, more importantly, he will find it a lifestyle he enjoys much more than the lifestyle encouraged by agents of the Enemy) to turn back. Subtleness is important; your patient must not realize he's damned until it's too late,

Your Affectionate Great-Uncle,

Screwtape


	4. Letter Four

My Dear Sleeblurk,

I must congratulate you on a sure-to-be-successful patient. Once at the party, your patient, non-chaliced as he was by his sheltered childhood, sampled every form of temptation he found there, and rather enjoyed them all. What's better, when asked where he was by his mother, he told a lie! Not only does this ensure his acceptance into the damned crowd and to future parties, it also means the beginning of a possible bad relationship with his parents!

You've done well, Sleeblurk, but your job isn't over yet. Your patient is still technically an agent of the Enemy; you have to make sure that he severs this relationship. You must also ensure that, once the patient's relationship with the Enemy is severed, it stays that way. Your job is only over when the patient dies. Which reminds me: if you can, get your patient to take his own life once he's fully corrupted. Not only is this a sign of great talent, it also makes for a delightful taste when the ceremony of his entry into Our Father's House takes place. Continue your streak of success and you will be sure to be promoted to seniority nearly as low as mine,

Your Affectionate Great-Uncle,

Screwtape


End file.
